Gas or Baby?

But really, that’s been the question on my mind for a good 2-3 weeks now. I would get these little feelings during the day but I could never really tell what it was. I’d heard the baby would feel like a butterfly flying around or popcorn popping, but since I’ve never had either of those in my belly before…well it was hard to distinguish. Last week a light bulb came on as I settled in at my desk for the day. These flutters that I was feeling, they just HAD to be baby. No doubt about it, this is real! Last week was a turning point for me in the whole I’m-pregnant-but-I-still-manage-to-forget-sometimes. I woke up one day last weekend with a bump that I don’t think can be mistaken for a burrito bump anymore:

That, my friends is a baby bump! Even Ashley made the comment that I seemed to get “huge”! Silly boy, doesn’t he know never to call a woman huge? Besides the point…I told him we have a long, long way to go. I think he’s slowly warming up to it, knowing that pregnant bellies have always freaked him out! I think I want to go about these posts a little differently from now on. I’ve seen this done on a couple of other blogs and I really like the idea, so I’m copying. Instead of writing as if I’m talking to all of you out there in the interwebs, each baby post will be in letter form to the little lady/mister in my belly. I think it’ll be a good way to get my thoughts and feelings out, but also something that will be fun to compile later for babyShu. Here goes….letter to the baby: 17 weeks.

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My dearest little one:

I’m not going to lie, sometimes it’s really hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that you’re inside me swimming around as we speak. I’ve officially started feeling you and I can’t wait for those feelings to get stronger! It brings me a little bit of peace each time I feel the flutters; I know you’re just rockin’ and rollin’ in there. I had my 16-week appointment almost 2 weeks ago - my fabulous doctor listened to your heartbeat, did a general checkup and said everything looks great! I'm spoiled in that we've had sonograms every time, but there wasn't one this time so the next one will be the big 20-week sono! I love getting to see you and see how much you’re growing. I have a feeling you’re going to look very different next time we get to see you! I can't say for sure that me and your dad have a "united front" on the whole finding out what you are just yet. He assures me he's on board with waiting until you are here, but I know that boy and I know it'll be torture for him once we're in that room if he can't find out! There are more discussions to come I suppose :) I know he’s just excited to really start to picture what our life will be like with you, and admittedly, that’s a little more difficult when we don’t know if you’re a girl or boy. All that matters is that you are healthy and that I’m giving you the best, coziest place to live and grow until October or November.

I'm feeling much, much better...like a normal human again! As long as I stay away from fatty, greasy, fried foods (i.e. everything I love, deep down in my heart) then I feel great. My body can't seem to digest those foods (you apparently don’t have the inner fat kid like your mama) and I feel like they just sit in my belly for 2 days. It's a miserable feeling and one that's not worth a delicious hamburger. I will say, that burger is going to be delicious once you get here! I feel like my belly is finally starting to grow to make more room for you! A little bump showed up this past weekend...out of the blue it was like "oh man, I look pregnant". I know it's nowhere near big, but it feels so big to me at this point and it's still all so surreal. It feels like an out-of-body experience! I'm really trying to enjoy every moment as I'm reminded daily that it's all a blessing, even the days I don't feel so hot. I’ve read that the body tends to crave the nutrients the baby needs (that could be true, or it could be a complete lie…interesting regardless) so from what I gather, I wasn’t eating enough fruits and veggies because I seem to be living on fruit and salad right now! With lots of soup and bagels in the mix, I have a pretty standard routine every day with no over-the-top cravings at this point. You’re forcing me to be healthy, little bit, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

We’re only about 2 weeks away from the halfway point in this whole process and while that's INSANE to me, I know we still have some time to get ready! We’re just now starting to do our research on all the “gear” you’ll need and I worry every day that I’m going to make the wrong decision on something! Good news is, I know that stuff isn’t what really matters J That’s the “planner” in your mama and there are times I just can’t turn that off.

Me and your dad celebrated our 4-year wedding anniversary a couple weeks ago with a delicious meal at a great steakhouse here in DC. I didn't eat as much as I wanted to, as I knew I would pay for it, but we enjoyed it and it's always nice to have a good reason for a special night out together. I love that man of mine and can't imagine doing this with anyone else. We’re really enjoying these months of just the two of us and while it’s scary to think about what the future holds when you make your grand entrance, we have a lot of talks about what we want to show you in this world when you get here!

I think this letter is long enough, but I will be back soon with more updates and more inner thoughts of mine for you. We already love you so much and thank God for keeping you strong and healthy with each passing day.

Love always,

Mama (that’s a first! I kind of love it.)

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I don’t anticipate all the letters to get this long, but with it being the first I have a lot on my mind! If you made it through that, kudos!